”Calm” Before the Storm

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore” ~Andre Gide

One day until I walk up to the start line of my very first marathon EVER.

ONE day.

Seems like just yesterday that it was sixteen weeks away…

So much has changed in my life over the course of the last sixteen weeks. I have changed so much over the last sixteen weeks. I know there’s some sort of crazy life growth lesson in here that has happened in this process that I should totally be referencing right now but I can’t see it because I’m way too focused on panic and imminent doom. (Thinking about panic and imminent doom totally makes me laugh but kind of a crazy person heckle kind of laugh.) Besides, I am pretty sure that I will have more than enough time to think about all the important life lessons when I am cruising along on Sunday.

There is so much information flowing in and out of my brain at the moment that it is hard for me to focus on anything let alone what I have learned in this process or even thinking about what my actual race plan is… I am lucky to have wonderful friends willing to help me come up with a plan and a wonderful coach that basically made it simple and just said DO THIS and gave me my plan. My head is definitely not in a place where it can handle wiggle room… I need to live in absolutes right now. I need other people to make decisions for me so that I don’t have to think.

I have experienced this sensation multiple times before big events but it doesn’t seem to really get easier over time and I certainly haven’t gotten used to the uneasy feeling that is currently living in the pit of my stomach.

I am a big believer in the power of visualization so I have been trying to visualize my race as much as my super ADHD brain will allow me to. Focusing on visualizing this race reminds me of when I did Assault on Mt. Mitchell and how heavily I relied on visualization when I started to feel like I could no longer keep going. I am reminded of a mantra that I used during that century ride, “breathe in confidence, breathe out doubt.” I can already tell that I will be using the hell out of that mantra during my marathon.

I know that I have put in the training to be physically ready for this race but now I have to actively work to drown out those pesky self-doubt thoughts that always love to creep into my head. Now the marathon becomes a mental race instead of a physical one.  It helps that I have so many people in my life that are constantly reminding me that I am ready and that I am going to do great. I. Just. Have. To. Keep. Reminding. Myself.

Physical plan: Finish in 4:15:00 at a 9:40 min/mi pace
Mental plan: Breathe in confidence, breathe out doubt. One foot in front of the other. Just keep moving. Soak in the experience. And, most importantly, HAVE FUN!

See you on the flip side blog world! Hopefully with a whole lot more insightful stuff to say…

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

shoes

19 thoughts on “”Calm” Before the Storm

  1. Without a doubt you are one of the toughest people I know. Use the laughter to your advantage. Tomorrow, at mile 20 look around you and see how your fellow runners look, the propel yourself with laughter,

    Look at all that are walking while you still run, better yet, think of all of those sitting on couches while you are kicking ass!

    Most importantly, run your own run. Slow when you need too, keep a steady pace, and at the end, if you feel a sprint in you, for gawds sake do it across the finish line, those watching will know what a bad ass you are.

    Damn proud of you lady

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am literally crying after reading your comment. Thank you so much for all the belief and faith you have in me. I promise that I will not let you down. I know I will have to dig deep tomorrow but I also know that I have everything I need to get the job done. I can’t wait to sit down and write about my wonderful marathon success (and get back on my damn bike finally)!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kid no matter what you can never let me down. Just starting is enough!

        I will tell you more than once my blog post has been “I survived and finished, more later!” Don’t hesitate to do so and give us more when you recover from the race!

        Like the wind kid!

        Liked by 1 person

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